gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
