the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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