You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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