Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
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I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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