so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just blew my weed a kiss
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
