arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
