guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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