Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Randomize
