My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
