I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
