I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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