They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
