You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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