9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?