Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying