You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
