Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
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they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
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I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..