Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How come twittering sounds sexual?

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Because of Bambi.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): How come twittering sounds sexual? (267): Because of Bambi. http://tfl.nu/cgx2
  Replies (7) Good night (1526) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest http://tfl.nu/54ul
  Replies (41) Good night (27831) Bad night (1077)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on... http://tfl.nu/xr5e
  Replies (12) Good night (2321) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now" http://tfl.nu/8bck
  Replies (11) Good night (2530) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity. http://tfl.nu/9x3b
  Replies (7) Good night (608) Bad night (1340)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke http://tfl.nu/9cxf
  Replies (1) Good night (1451) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (780): Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP http://tfl.nu/n1dg
  Replies (0) Good night (724) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn. http://tfl.nu/ku90
  Replies (6) Good night (1070) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Big girls don't cry they get day drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Big girls don't cry they get day drunk http://tfl.nu/o4rn
  Replies (5) Good night (2033) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight. http://tfl.nu/iyrl
  Replies (2) Good night (780) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril http://tfl.nu/vmx1
  Replies (9) Good night (293) Bad night (877)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk. http://tfl.nu/ypfw
  Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight http://tfl.nu/hz5m
  Replies (4) Good night (449) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test. http://tfl.nu/cted
  Replies (1) Good night (961) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time. http://tfl.nu/ncii
  Replies (1) Good night (392) Bad night (93)

Randomize