Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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