The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
