we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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