I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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