people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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