South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
