What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
