The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
