Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
