oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
