i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish I only lived at night.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
