please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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