TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
