Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
