Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
NoShamevember. You game?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
