Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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