I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize