cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize