And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
