Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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