i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
