Can i not drive my cunt home
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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