Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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