this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize