So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
