Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
