There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
