can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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