HIV tests are more positive than that guy
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
