so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My hand turned me down
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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