would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
