Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
