Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
