would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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