This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
