you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
