i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
