I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
More tranny stories later!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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