i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
