I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
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All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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