my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
