Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We're using joints as your birthday candles
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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