Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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